Magpie's Shiny Things

WOOOP!!!

So…moved into my new flat, loving it at the moment =]

It’s more central so easier for me to get to work and my flatmates are awesome and and and i love it!!! =]

But I need to get another chest of drawers before i can unpack properly, i have so much stuff it’s unreal, got no idea how it all fitted into my old bedroom!

One of my friends is coming round for dinner on friday so that’ll be ace, n then BJ n me are going out to the theatre on Tuesday and in a couple of weeks I’m going hom eto see my mum n sister n brother =]

AAAAND i’ve been offered a job in the airport, but not sure if i want to do that, as it’s 4am starts =[ So depends on the money i guess.

I'm super sleepy. Was at BJs last night n he woke me up this morning at 7am (just ruuuude!! what a horrible time to be woken up on your day off!) n he was being all cute n singing songs to me n giving me cuddles....my god i hated him. but then threw the warm fluffy dressing gown at me n so i thought that meant i could go back to sleep...i thought wrong =[

And i left my telephone at his because he woke me up n i was still all sleepy when we left so i feel a little bit dead without it!

But i got peach and raspberry smoothie for breakfast =]

off to try n unpack some things, take care!

I’m moving house!!!

I’m moving hooooouuuuuuuussee!!!! I’m so damned excited! It’s gonna be amazing! =]

But packing sucks.

So…

…my works not been the best recently. My manager is an absolute tool. Well, he’s a lovely lovely man, but the worlds worst manager. There’s a massive list of things he does wrong and it’s seriously infuriating me, that and the fact that he’s upsetting all of my staff is making me wanna push him off of a bridge.

So I’ve been kinda looking at other jobs atm, because even though I talked to him about it, I doubt anything is going to change. Been offered one, but it’s quite far to travel to it. And I was told about a transfer option within the company I work with, but it’s a transfer to Glasgow.

So I don’t know what to do.

It has good points. Like, I’d be closer to my mum n molly and family. I’d be closer incase my gran gets ill again. It’d be a new start in a new city..well, kinda new, lived there before. I wouldn’t have to put up with a certain twat and her drama. It’d be cheaper to live there, I could get a good flat.I could totally start again and have a whole new me going!

But it has bad points. Like, I’d be closer to my mum n molly so i’d go home n end up with no life lol! It’s kinda tempting fate to move there incase my gran gets ill, isn’t it?! I would miss this city, much as everyone moans about it, I love the little old streets and the pretty buildings. I love the little old homeless man that Melanie and I stalked. I’d miss the weather here!! I’d lose contact with some amazing people, like, truly amazing friends that I have, even though we don’t see each other much, moving away would ruin it all.

And all this isn’t even thinking about the boy. He’d never do something as stupid as asking me to stay, and I’d never ask him to come with me. But, well, but I love him lol. I don’t know, like, I love him, but there’s not really such a thing as proper real love any more is there? I mean, nobody loves people like they used to. there’s no such thing as forever and til death do us part anymore.

I mean, I remember being a little kid and at a ceilidh with my grandparents, and you could tell, even though they were old and wrinkly and (GROSS!! wrinkles =[) saggy and everything, they only had eyes for each other, it was like there was nobody else there when they looked at each other and my Seanair had this goofy face, it was proper real love, and that doesn’t seem to happen anymore, people fall in love and then get bored of it. Or leave each other after one argument, or think that one tough patch means everything isn’t worth it.

I don’t, and can’t believe that, as much as i know i should. I believe in fairy tale love. And I see no reason not to have it. I believe in fate and “the one” and happily ever after. I don’t see why the person you’re with can’t give you butterflies every time you see them, and make your heart do summersaults. I’m realistic with my fairytale love lol, i know there are shit times when you can’t even look at someone because you can actually feel your heart break inside, and i know all the hurt feelings too, but i just think that for someone to be able to hurt you so much, they must be able to make you so goddamned happy too. I totally believe that one day some yummy gothy geeky guy is gonna buy me lego rings and propose and we’ll have the biggest party ever and like happily ever after. But i seem to be the only person that believes in that now. i hate how cynical people are.

AAAaaaaannnyway, kinda went off on a little rant there lol, yeah, I dunno what to do, I love bj, and i don’t think i could go. but who’s to say it’ll last? what if this time next year we’re not even talking and i could’ve had a good job n my own flat and everything in another city?

Anyone wanna tell me what to do? i’ve got no idea. I don’t wanna be a grown up any more =[

Kinda bored, day off of work today, yesterday too =]

My new manager at work as a complete ass. He’s making things difficult for everyone and upsetting staff, and I’ve had more than 4 customers ask for customer relations number to call and complain about him, it’s not good! Gonna have to sit him down n tell him what’s what, since clearly he thinks that his way is working when it isn’t. Ah well. Got offered a new job, so thinking about taking that. Or maybe looking for a transfer to a different city.

Been kinda looking at buying a flat. But the money thing is difficult at the moment for everyone. My dad says he’s more than willing to help out, but I kinda just feel guilty. But looking anyway, I just want to get a place of my own that I can call home.

You know how we all have days where you just wake up and feel like you look horrid? I hate those days, had one yesterday, but I was just thinking, why don’t we have days when we wake up and feel pretty?! Why don’t we ever wake up, look in the mirror when brushing our teeth and instead of thinking “man i look like hell” why not “heeey i look pretty good today!” I imagine Joey from friends felt like that a lot lol!

And as well, i was thinking last night, not that i should probably say this out loud, or type it on my blog, whatever, but when is it safe to let the fat out?! lol, was lying in bed, and i love that feeling when you’re lying in bed with someones arms around you and you just feel so safe and so cosy, i love that, i love standing outside with a guy behind you with his arms around your waist, it’s just the safest feeling in the world, but when you’re lying like that, I dunno about guys, but i know all the girls I know lie there holding in their stomach fat lol, regardless of how skinny you are, cos i used to do that when i was skinny too lol, but when is it safe to stop?! Cos you lie n hold it in til he’s asleep, but then what?! I always imagine that you let the fat go n just see their arm pinging away like something from a cartoon….though i hope nobody has enough hidden fat to do that!! lol!! But if you let it out whilst they’re asleep then they’re gonna wake up before you do n be like eeeww you were super skinny when i was cuddling you last night!

On a more fun note….y’know how you can do a pregnant tummy?! like when you push your tummy out really far?! I’m aaaacce at it, i can bounce coins on it LOL as i so sweetly and drunkenly showed one of my exes when we’d just got together ha ha ha ha, bless him!

Off to clean some more. Take care gorgeous!

So…..been kinda thinking a lot today, tis 2 weeks into the new year, and I’m quite liking it so far tbh!

Was thinking about this year though, I normally make plans n resolutions n all that jazz for what I’m gonna change.

This year….I’m gonna hang in at work for a while n learn as much as I can about the business, and the marketing side of it, and get fully trained whilst they’re paying for it, then I’m going to try and get a transfer out of the city I’m in. There are a load of people here that I love, but the city is beginning to bore me, I miss the countryside, I miss having people (and I’m not sure if this is my friends, or if it’s a “growing up” thing) that are willing to go out n play, run around in the woods and make sandcastles on the beach and just have a giggle, without needing drink or drugs as an excuse to act like a child.  I just kinda want a change of scenery, though I get like this a lot, every few months I just get really bored of being here, of doing the same things with nothing new to explore.

And, if I don’t get a transfer, my dad was talking about opening a coffee shop, so the option of running that is there for me too.

I want to get my own flat, I just want to get a space of my own, that I can do what I want in, I want to be able to come home n cook what i want and leave the dishes til the morning lol, or wander to the kitchen to get a drink of milk in the middle of the night without having to put clothes on. Or not have to worry about flatmates hearing sex noises!! Or not try and be quiet when I crawl home from the pub.

Boys? well, I’m not setting any ambitions or any of that crap, cos none of it is reliable when there’s someone else involved, all I want is to be happy, and with someone that makes me happy, for as long as possible.

I want to see my family more this year, esp my dads side. i don’t spend enough time with them.

Obviously there’s the usual shit that i kinda want to do but don’t care about enough to actually put effort into it – losing weight, going to the gym, taking better care of my skin, eating healthier, blah blah blah blah blah.

Can’t think what else there is really. i’m so sleepy!

i hate the word “turd”. Quite a lot.

But you, dear sir, are a giant steaming disgusting slimy turd.

SO FUCK RIGHT OFF.

I’m in such a weird mood.

I’m totally bored, but hyper and also soooo cannot be bothered doing a single thing.

It’s like i wanna sit n gossip n chat for hours but i don’t know what to say all of a sudden. I miss being in the countryside.

I used to feel like this quite a bit n it was normally just cos i needed some time to myself, I used to go for super long walks at night time, n sit at the old army base by the sea and watch as the tide came in, the sky totally black apart from a sprinkling of stars and the sea coming in like waves of tar, uused to sit on the railings n think about everything and nothing all at once, especially on really nice calm nights where all you can hear is the sea, and all you can see is still, it’s like you’re the only person in the world that’s alive at that moment, and i always found it really comforting.

Like i could think whatever i wanted and there’d be nobody or nothing there to distract me, or tell me what i was thinking is totally mental. Kinda like when you have those strange thoughts when you’re just falling asleep, y’know, the weird ones, like what it’s like at the bottom of the sea, or even if there is a bottom. I always used to have this weird dream that the earth we’re on isn’t the outside lol, with the theory that we hadn’t been to the centre of the world so it could be anything, and the stars in the sky were really gold in another layer of the world that was just out of our reach.

Clearly I’ve always beena  bit weird. But those dreams were amazing, dreaming about how we managed to land on that layer and get through and stand and see everything upside down and all the weird adventures.

I hate being in the city so much at times. There’s nowhere in the city that you can be on your own. you can be lonely anywhere, but you can’t be on your own, even at the beach, there’s always someone somewhere close that interupts your thoughts or makes you feel too uncomfortable to think properly.

I kinda like being out at bj’s just for that, so i can spend time on my own, when he goes to college n i can just go n sit at the beach and watch the sea for a while. i don’t even get a phone signal there so it’s just total peace and quiet. i love it so much. I love the sea. i love how massive it is, how tiny and insignificant it can make you feel. it’s connected to some of my favourite moments ever. Like being a kid n going swimming in the sea with my mum, trying not to get my hair wet lol, or walking around the shoreline to get to the shop quicker from my grannies house. or watching the yachts come in whilst sitting in the garden with my seanair. or waking up after a beach party as the camp fire goes out n everyone else is passed out n sitting at the top of the sand dunes watching the sea with the b/f sitting there with his arm around me in complete silence. or going for wanders on the beach n looking at fish in the sea n showing him sea anenomes lol

aw man, was talking to noir today on msn n it’s totally got me thinking about a nasty ex. eugh. i try my best not to think of him ever but now i am and it’s getting to me and it just annoys me, i hate that even now he can get under my skin without saying a word.

rawrrrr. I’m gonna go and watch some good old junk tv and then listen to blackjesus on the radio. Cheer up a bit n get outta whatever this weird funk is.

on the upside….i got an AWESOME tshirt today. kinda bought it as a present but i’m keeping it forever! =]

So….new manager started at work….less said sooner mended i think on that one.

I’m totally stuck in the middle and it’s disgustingly awkward.

Went to see daybreaker today, wasn’t as good as I expected and the ending is really shitty. Kinda disappointed by it.

Got good test results from the doctors yesterday, I was super happy, til i bumped into one of the very few people that knew about the tests and told them it was clear, they said “i told you you should’ve gone” and half lectured me, instead of anything like woop thank fuck you’re not dying of cancer. So i was a bit hurt by that one. It just wasn’t what I was expecting.

Went out for lunch with one of my friends afterwards, got a bit boozy lol, was fantastic, I love her =] She’s amazing.

Hmmm…what else. My granny knitted me a scarf for xmas, it’s gorgeous and warm and fluffy, i love it! Going to book a weekend away with the girls soon, and planning on going home for a week in february. Hopefully also gonna be hanging out with Jakoty soon =]

think that’s about it just now.

Hey there you lot!

Happy new year!! Did you have a good one?!

I had fun mostly, went into a town, had fair rides in the squarey centrey bit, and a big street party and fireworks, was freezing cold but I had my cosy leather trousers on – oooft they’re WARM! and a gorgeous big jacket that my mum bought me for Christmas!! =]

Did the usual new year countdown, with blackjesus and some of his family and a few friends, it was lovely, 3rd New Year that he was the first person I kissed ^^, made me happy lol! Then we got donut’s from a stall and went back for a house party, was good fun, then people got too drunk and started arguing and it kinda got a bit fucked up. Ah well! Eventually got home, had a massive argument, couldn’t get to sleep. Blackjesus made me giggle soooo much when we were arguing, it was hard to stay mad at him lol!

Got woken up by “honeeeeeyyy, i need painkillers and milk” and all was forgiven and forgotten as always. He started singing some song about a horse. We were all late for New Years dinner! But it was absolutely gorgeous, I loved it! I love having big proper family dinners around the table, with crackers and everything, even though some people put cranberry jelly on their turkey – weeeeirdos!! It’s not reall something I ever remember doing as a kid.

Got home and watched the last ever good episode of Dr Who, it was amazing. BJ was laughing at me cos I was crying, lol, he clearly doesn’t understand the love I have for David!!! And Russell T Davies is leaving too, so it’s going to be awful.

Gotta go to work tomorrow which sucks, I can’t get any proper time off til the middle of february so that’s really shit.

Anyways, have an awesome 2010 everyone =]

So….

Saw my mum and sister and stepdad, was awesome!! Really worried about my stepdad – his back seems to be really bad, hope he’s okay =[ Mum looks awesome, but really tired. and my sister is AMAZING! God I miss them all loads. Kinda gutted my brother didn't come up too. But I'll see him next time I go home. And if I get a new flat then I'll make him come visit me =D

Also saw my old manager for a coffee - he's doing ace I think, my Auntie totally thought he was hot, all full of oooooh who's THAT?! lol, made me giggle!He left n then texted saying he'd just walked past Hellfire - and it always makes him think of me lol, bless him!

Did a little bit of shopping whilst I was away, should've kept a bit more money so I could've bought some more things, forgot that Glasgow has better shops than here. Got a few things for BJ.

Met up with an old friend from school, he's a martial arts guy now, and totally into his computers, and soooooooo doesn't look the same. It's odd how people change when they grow up, I still look the same as I did when I was a kid.

Ummm.....then got on the bus to come home. With three tops, a jumper, a jacket and a big wooly jumper and a blanket. I shivered the whole journey. I get cold far too easily. But hey ho, the snow is GORGEOUS! You couldn't tell pavement from road today! It was falling sooo fast and heavy and covering everything, i LOVED it!!

Worked 7am - 9pm today, kinda sucked but it was a good day, got a lot done. Totally cleaned out my office, I love having a tidy office! just everyone else moves things n ruins it, grr! Did payroll. got a nuns phonenumber LOL got a present. was about it.

Totally hoping BJs dads present is gonna arrive tomorrow, gutted it isn't here yet.

Got a couple more things to get for BJ, but wrapped things today n realised I've bought him more than I thought I had =] Which is good!

DYING to open my presents from my mum!!!

Catch y’all later….if i’m not on before then Happy Christmas!!!