Magpie's Shiny Things

hey there you.

So……today was pretty damn awesome.

Woke up in a bit of a weird mood. Keep having funny dreams when I’m asleep so I wake up wondering what it is that’s bugging me but then can’t figure it out.

My friend Dawn came over just before lunch time n we made cakes, was totally awesome, made polka dot cake (coconut sponge with smarties inside) and squidgy chocolate logs (chocolatey coconutty flapjacks) and squishy gooey triple chocolate cookies, that have over 1lb of chocolate in them, YUM!  But yeah, was totally awesome to get to just chill out with her and make cakes and have a rant about things, I kinda miss my girl friends sometimes, most of my friends are guys, and I absolutely adore them all, but it’s not the same as having a chat to one of the girls. And Dawn is fantastic and totally down to earth. So it’s ace to be able to just chatter a little.

BJ came over for like ten minutes at one point, on his way for his guys night out. Wow he looked hot. Boys with eyeliner <3<3<3 But i dunno, everything is a bit odd at the moment. I feel like I haven’t seen him for forever, the last time we actually spent time alone together was when we went to see the circus of horrors, like a month ago, so I’ve seen him for like a couple of hours since then and it’s just not enough. But he’s got plenty of time to go n get drunk.  I dunno, it’s all just weird. I don’t think I’m particularly clingy, but I can’t be with someone who isn’t actually here, I like being able to have someone there to chat to and to fall asleep with. It just sucks tonnes that there’s never time for me lol. I think it’s just playing on my mind because I’m about to start a new job, which is gonna mean me starting at stupid times and not able to go to his much, so we won’t see each other as much as we used to. But if we can’t spend any time together on a week when I’ve not had anything at all on, then how’re we gonna manage then?  And I dunno, when he was here the other day for like an hour, he was all awesome and giving me cuddles, but insulting me n bitching too, i don’t know if i’ve done something to piss him off or what :S  bleh

Flatmate made dinner again, I actually love him, we went out drinking a few days ago, he totally treats me like I’m his little sister lol, he’s all protective and sweet and tries to cheer me up when i’ve got a huffy face lol, and we just have ace fun together, I love living somewhere i can just be happy =]

Trying to think what else has happened. Ummm…new job kinda messing me around, i’m going out there tomorrow so hopefully that’ll all get sorted soon and i’ll get started, but not gonna get paid til the 2nd of next month =[

Family stuff is all good for the moment, worried about my brother, and mym mum, and my sister, all for different reasons, but unless they say anything to me then there’s not too much i can do from here.

Cos i haven’t been to BJs for ages i totally miss his dad lol Sounds a bit odd, but I like chatting to him, he’s totally just family, i get rows from him n everything lol, it’s like having a dad near me that can tell me when to stop talking shit He’s absolutely awesome, but works way too much, i worry about him too =[

Tis mothers day soon, and BJs dads birthday, and BJs Birthday, and i’m totally not gonna have money to get em presents =[ late presents this year it seems!

I’m off to try n sleep since i’m going out to the airport tomorrow.

g’night

So….What’s new?!

Had to work my notice in a different shop to my own, but it was kinda good, got to meet some new people n get on with them a bit, especially a few of the guys, super good fun!! Found out one of my collegues is getting fired cos she’s a bint. Got on suprisingly well with the manager of the other store, he’s lovely! Not really much else there.

Trying to fill in disclosure forms for my new job, WOW they’re bitchin massive forms. every teeny tiny detail from the last 5 years of my life has to go on them, sooooo can’t remember it all. Addresses and email addresses of every employee and things like that, tis mental!! Hopefully be starting that on monday, but possibly not, I’ve gotta meet the area manager before HR will let me start lol, and cos of the weather he’s stuck in England!!

Decided I’m having a break from everything that stresses me out and annoys me, if it bugs me then it’s out, no more of that crap. I kinda decide things like that a lot n then let certain people totally walk all over me and treat me like shit. So it’s kinda weird.

Still not eaten any sweeties yet, my easter egg is gonna taste so damn yummy this year!!

Don’t think there’s really much else at the moment, totally knackered but nothing new there. Anyhoo, laters!

I love Sundays.

I know that’s weird, I know it’s the day most people hate cos it’s soooo lond and there’s nothing to do and nothing exciting happens, but I love them. Sundays are the day that I’ve got off work the most often. And it’s the day Postsecret is updated. And it’s just a nice, quiet relaxing day.  The whole world seems a bit quieter and calmer and everything seems almost surreal because everyone stays in. I dunno, I just enjoy them. I’d miss Sundays if they weren’t around.

Been playing in the forums on site, they’re ace =] Blackjesus and the guys did an ace job getting them up =] And it’ll be good to have somewhere to find out all the things we don’t know. As a mod, it seems we’re kinda looked upon to know it all, but everyone forgets that nobody knows everything, and every day is a school day, but see once you get here, and the people you’re asking to help you are as awesome as X, noir, blackjesus, sketch….y’know what?! It’s damned intimidating sometimes lol! It’s like you’re expected to ask questions when you’re a n00b or learning, but once you get a bit better you’re meant to know it all, and nobody in the world knows it all. Sometimes it’s a bit scary, so I’m glad there’s somewhere else we can find more information without feeling like idiots =]

Travelled back from my mums yesterday, it was good to be there, I do love it, my sister is amazing, always cheers me up! But at the same time, it was sooo good to get home and sleep in my own bed, and not be kept up all night by hamsters =.=

Also got tickets to see KISS yesterday, can. not. wait!!! Booked the hotel for that today, it’s gonna be sooo awesome! Hope BJ can make it, if not I’m gonna have to find someone else to go =]

Listening to Kate Nash, Nicest Thing is one of my favourite songs, my friend and I first heard it in college, when BJ n me were first together and all honeymoony, the lyrics always remind me of that time, i love the honeymoon period, it’s sooo good, falling in love is worth every single heart break, there’s nothing better than when just one thought, or one look, or one touch can send tingles down your spine and make you feel all stupid and happy and on top of the world. Better than any drug in the world.

I’m so happy at the moment. New Flat, new job, new shoes (WOW they’re SEXY), new friends, and catching up with old friends, going to see KISS, and planning a holiday. Just a few tiny things to get sorted and then everything will be perfect.

sundays are awesome.

So the past couple of days were shit.

Had to go try n drag a sheep half way across the field by my mums cos it was half dead n had crows at it n was upsetting my little sister – charming.

Had to go to dinner with my mums ex husband. MY GOD it wasn’t good. the man is such a goddamn tool and i hate going out to dinner with him. At one point, when i was 14, he actually said to me that if i didn’t do what he wanted then he’d walk out n leave my mum, n it’d be all my fault like it was my fault my mum n dad broke up in the first place. i mean, COME ON! you don’t say that to a kid, nevermind a 14 yr old hormonal one!!! So i threw  a dyson down the stairs at him.

My friend is in hospital after a car accident yesterday. =[

AND my charming twat of a boss isn't going to let me work my notice in my own shop, he's sending me to another one cos he's a fucking prick. GRRRR and i fucking hate him. god i hope he gets aids or cancer or some kind of horrible flesh eating disease. Means I can't get to say goodbye to my customers or my staff! GRRRRRRRRR!!! fucking knobend that he is. I'm gonna come back n edit out the swearing in this later, but i'm angry at the moment so it's staying there lol.

And, to top it all off yesterday, I logged into chat, to discover someone else was posting my picture with comments about me and BJ, I mean, come on to fuck!! If it's not your photo don't post it, if i want my photo in there then i'm more than capable of posting it myself. i have working fingers, i can type, i'm sure i'd manage to post a picture.....so what the hells makes you think you've got to do it for me?! and more to the point, what the hell gives you the right to let other people in there that i don't know and/or trust yet, know what i look like?! On a torrent site?! Are you fucking stupid?! I mean, sure yeah, most of the regs know what i look like n i've shown my picture before, when it's only people i know n trust in there. but it's my photo n my choice. Wow that one infuriated me.

Just the sprinkles on a shit cake day =]

fuck the world ^^,

I made chocolate cake today. With fudge icing and crumbles Oreos on top. YUM!

off to watch the narwhals thing with my sister…laters

Hey there you!!

Sorry, been a while since I updated, been kinda busy I guess!

So….I have a new flat, which is totally amazing, sharing with 2 guys who are pretty damn ace themselves! And in the city centre now so it’s super easy to go places!

And I have a new job!! Loads more money, plus 4 bonuses a year, plus my own drinks licence and all sorts of awesome perks! Start that on the 1st March, though I am going to have to get up at like 3am for it! Might hurt for the first wee while, but I’ll get used to it!

At home just now, visiting my family. Pretty awesome, and I’ve just got three new pairs of boots WOOT! one pair of irregular choice ones (i love love love love LOVE irregular choice shoes, they’re sooo weird!!) and another pair of New Rocks – with flames on them! and some knee high black leather ones =]

Can’t think what else has been happening. BJ n me are just the usual. Went out together the other night and that was ace, still argue lots, but it seems to work somehow lol!

Had the girls over for drinks the other night, had vodka jelly too, yum! Was super funny, had an awesome night!

Think that’s about it at the moment. On holiday this week then working next week, get to say goodbye to all of my regulars that I love at work!

Anyhoo, take care!

WOOOP!!!

So…moved into my new flat, loving it at the moment =]

It’s more central so easier for me to get to work and my flatmates are awesome and and and i love it!!! =]

But I need to get another chest of drawers before i can unpack properly, i have so much stuff it’s unreal, got no idea how it all fitted into my old bedroom!

One of my friends is coming round for dinner on friday so that’ll be ace, n then BJ n me are going out to the theatre on Tuesday and in a couple of weeks I’m going hom eto see my mum n sister n brother =]

AAAAND i’ve been offered a job in the airport, but not sure if i want to do that, as it’s 4am starts =[ So depends on the money i guess.

I'm super sleepy. Was at BJs last night n he woke me up this morning at 7am (just ruuuude!! what a horrible time to be woken up on your day off!) n he was being all cute n singing songs to me n giving me cuddles....my god i hated him. but then threw the warm fluffy dressing gown at me n so i thought that meant i could go back to sleep...i thought wrong =[

And i left my telephone at his because he woke me up n i was still all sleepy when we left so i feel a little bit dead without it!

But i got peach and raspberry smoothie for breakfast =]

off to try n unpack some things, take care!

I’m moving house!!!

I’m moving hooooouuuuuuuussee!!!! I’m so damned excited! It’s gonna be amazing! =]

But packing sucks.

So…

…my works not been the best recently. My manager is an absolute tool. Well, he’s a lovely lovely man, but the worlds worst manager. There’s a massive list of things he does wrong and it’s seriously infuriating me, that and the fact that he’s upsetting all of my staff is making me wanna push him off of a bridge.

So I’ve been kinda looking at other jobs atm, because even though I talked to him about it, I doubt anything is going to change. Been offered one, but it’s quite far to travel to it. And I was told about a transfer option within the company I work with, but it’s a transfer to Glasgow.

So I don’t know what to do.

It has good points. Like, I’d be closer to my mum n molly and family. I’d be closer incase my gran gets ill again. It’d be a new start in a new city..well, kinda new, lived there before. I wouldn’t have to put up with a certain twat and her drama. It’d be cheaper to live there, I could get a good flat.I could totally start again and have a whole new me going!

But it has bad points. Like, I’d be closer to my mum n molly so i’d go home n end up with no life lol! It’s kinda tempting fate to move there incase my gran gets ill, isn’t it?! I would miss this city, much as everyone moans about it, I love the little old streets and the pretty buildings. I love the little old homeless man that Melanie and I stalked. I’d miss the weather here!! I’d lose contact with some amazing people, like, truly amazing friends that I have, even though we don’t see each other much, moving away would ruin it all.

And all this isn’t even thinking about the boy. He’d never do something as stupid as asking me to stay, and I’d never ask him to come with me. But, well, but I love him lol. I don’t know, like, I love him, but there’s not really such a thing as proper real love any more is there? I mean, nobody loves people like they used to. there’s no such thing as forever and til death do us part anymore.

I mean, I remember being a little kid and at a ceilidh with my grandparents, and you could tell, even though they were old and wrinkly and (GROSS!! wrinkles =[) saggy and everything, they only had eyes for each other, it was like there was nobody else there when they looked at each other and my Seanair had this goofy face, it was proper real love, and that doesn’t seem to happen anymore, people fall in love and then get bored of it. Or leave each other after one argument, or think that one tough patch means everything isn’t worth it.

I don’t, and can’t believe that, as much as i know i should. I believe in fairy tale love. And I see no reason not to have it. I believe in fate and “the one” and happily ever after. I don’t see why the person you’re with can’t give you butterflies every time you see them, and make your heart do summersaults. I’m realistic with my fairytale love lol, i know there are shit times when you can’t even look at someone because you can actually feel your heart break inside, and i know all the hurt feelings too, but i just think that for someone to be able to hurt you so much, they must be able to make you so goddamned happy too. I totally believe that one day some yummy gothy geeky guy is gonna buy me lego rings and propose and we’ll have the biggest party ever and like happily ever after. But i seem to be the only person that believes in that now. i hate how cynical people are.

AAAaaaaannnyway, kinda went off on a little rant there lol, yeah, I dunno what to do, I love bj, and i don’t think i could go. but who’s to say it’ll last? what if this time next year we’re not even talking and i could’ve had a good job n my own flat and everything in another city?

Anyone wanna tell me what to do? i’ve got no idea. I don’t wanna be a grown up any more =[

Kinda bored, day off of work today, yesterday too =]

My new manager at work as a complete ass. He’s making things difficult for everyone and upsetting staff, and I’ve had more than 4 customers ask for customer relations number to call and complain about him, it’s not good! Gonna have to sit him down n tell him what’s what, since clearly he thinks that his way is working when it isn’t. Ah well. Got offered a new job, so thinking about taking that. Or maybe looking for a transfer to a different city.

Been kinda looking at buying a flat. But the money thing is difficult at the moment for everyone. My dad says he’s more than willing to help out, but I kinda just feel guilty. But looking anyway, I just want to get a place of my own that I can call home.

You know how we all have days where you just wake up and feel like you look horrid? I hate those days, had one yesterday, but I was just thinking, why don’t we have days when we wake up and feel pretty?! Why don’t we ever wake up, look in the mirror when brushing our teeth and instead of thinking “man i look like hell” why not “heeey i look pretty good today!” I imagine Joey from friends felt like that a lot lol!

And as well, i was thinking last night, not that i should probably say this out loud, or type it on my blog, whatever, but when is it safe to let the fat out?! lol, was lying in bed, and i love that feeling when you’re lying in bed with someones arms around you and you just feel so safe and so cosy, i love that, i love standing outside with a guy behind you with his arms around your waist, it’s just the safest feeling in the world, but when you’re lying like that, I dunno about guys, but i know all the girls I know lie there holding in their stomach fat lol, regardless of how skinny you are, cos i used to do that when i was skinny too lol, but when is it safe to stop?! Cos you lie n hold it in til he’s asleep, but then what?! I always imagine that you let the fat go n just see their arm pinging away like something from a cartoon….though i hope nobody has enough hidden fat to do that!! lol!! But if you let it out whilst they’re asleep then they’re gonna wake up before you do n be like eeeww you were super skinny when i was cuddling you last night!

On a more fun note….y’know how you can do a pregnant tummy?! like when you push your tummy out really far?! I’m aaaacce at it, i can bounce coins on it LOL as i so sweetly and drunkenly showed one of my exes when we’d just got together ha ha ha ha, bless him!

Off to clean some more. Take care gorgeous!

So…..been kinda thinking a lot today, tis 2 weeks into the new year, and I’m quite liking it so far tbh!

Was thinking about this year though, I normally make plans n resolutions n all that jazz for what I’m gonna change.

This year….I’m gonna hang in at work for a while n learn as much as I can about the business, and the marketing side of it, and get fully trained whilst they’re paying for it, then I’m going to try and get a transfer out of the city I’m in. There are a load of people here that I love, but the city is beginning to bore me, I miss the countryside, I miss having people (and I’m not sure if this is my friends, or if it’s a “growing up” thing) that are willing to go out n play, run around in the woods and make sandcastles on the beach and just have a giggle, without needing drink or drugs as an excuse to act like a child.  I just kinda want a change of scenery, though I get like this a lot, every few months I just get really bored of being here, of doing the same things with nothing new to explore.

And, if I don’t get a transfer, my dad was talking about opening a coffee shop, so the option of running that is there for me too.

I want to get my own flat, I just want to get a space of my own, that I can do what I want in, I want to be able to come home n cook what i want and leave the dishes til the morning lol, or wander to the kitchen to get a drink of milk in the middle of the night without having to put clothes on. Or not have to worry about flatmates hearing sex noises!! Or not try and be quiet when I crawl home from the pub.

Boys? well, I’m not setting any ambitions or any of that crap, cos none of it is reliable when there’s someone else involved, all I want is to be happy, and with someone that makes me happy, for as long as possible.

I want to see my family more this year, esp my dads side. i don’t spend enough time with them.

Obviously there’s the usual shit that i kinda want to do but don’t care about enough to actually put effort into it – losing weight, going to the gym, taking better care of my skin, eating healthier, blah blah blah blah blah.

Can’t think what else there is really. i’m so sleepy!