Magpie's Shiny Things

i hate the word “turd”. Quite a lot.

But you, dear sir, are a giant steaming disgusting slimy turd.

SO FUCK RIGHT OFF.

I’m in such a weird mood.

I’m totally bored, but hyper and also soooo cannot be bothered doing a single thing.

It’s like i wanna sit n gossip n chat for hours but i don’t know what to say all of a sudden. I miss being in the countryside.

I used to feel like this quite a bit n it was normally just cos i needed some time to myself, I used to go for super long walks at night time, n sit at the old army base by the sea and watch as the tide came in, the sky totally black apart from a sprinkling of stars and the sea coming in like waves of tar, uused to sit on the railings n think about everything and nothing all at once, especially on really nice calm nights where all you can hear is the sea, and all you can see is still, it’s like you’re the only person in the world that’s alive at that moment, and i always found it really comforting.

Like i could think whatever i wanted and there’d be nobody or nothing there to distract me, or tell me what i was thinking is totally mental. Kinda like when you have those strange thoughts when you’re just falling asleep, y’know, the weird ones, like what it’s like at the bottom of the sea, or even if there is a bottom. I always used to have this weird dream that the earth we’re on isn’t the outside lol, with the theory that we hadn’t been to the centre of the world so it could be anything, and the stars in the sky were really gold in another layer of the world that was just out of our reach.

Clearly I’ve always beena  bit weird. But those dreams were amazing, dreaming about how we managed to land on that layer and get through and stand and see everything upside down and all the weird adventures.

I hate being in the city so much at times. There’s nowhere in the city that you can be on your own. you can be lonely anywhere, but you can’t be on your own, even at the beach, there’s always someone somewhere close that interupts your thoughts or makes you feel too uncomfortable to think properly.

I kinda like being out at bj’s just for that, so i can spend time on my own, when he goes to college n i can just go n sit at the beach and watch the sea for a while. i don’t even get a phone signal there so it’s just total peace and quiet. i love it so much. I love the sea. i love how massive it is, how tiny and insignificant it can make you feel. it’s connected to some of my favourite moments ever. Like being a kid n going swimming in the sea with my mum, trying not to get my hair wet lol, or walking around the shoreline to get to the shop quicker from my grannies house. or watching the yachts come in whilst sitting in the garden with my seanair. or waking up after a beach party as the camp fire goes out n everyone else is passed out n sitting at the top of the sand dunes watching the sea with the b/f sitting there with his arm around me in complete silence. or going for wanders on the beach n looking at fish in the sea n showing him sea anenomes lol

aw man, was talking to noir today on msn n it’s totally got me thinking about a nasty ex. eugh. i try my best not to think of him ever but now i am and it’s getting to me and it just annoys me, i hate that even now he can get under my skin without saying a word.

rawrrrr. I’m gonna go and watch some good old junk tv and then listen to blackjesus on the radio. Cheer up a bit n get outta whatever this weird funk is.

on the upside….i got an AWESOME tshirt today. kinda bought it as a present but i’m keeping it forever! =]

So….new manager started at work….less said sooner mended i think on that one.

I’m totally stuck in the middle and it’s disgustingly awkward.

Went to see daybreaker today, wasn’t as good as I expected and the ending is really shitty. Kinda disappointed by it.

Got good test results from the doctors yesterday, I was super happy, til i bumped into one of the very few people that knew about the tests and told them it was clear, they said “i told you you should’ve gone” and half lectured me, instead of anything like woop thank fuck you’re not dying of cancer. So i was a bit hurt by that one. It just wasn’t what I was expecting.

Went out for lunch with one of my friends afterwards, got a bit boozy lol, was fantastic, I love her =] She’s amazing.

Hmmm…what else. My granny knitted me a scarf for xmas, it’s gorgeous and warm and fluffy, i love it! Going to book a weekend away with the girls soon, and planning on going home for a week in february. Hopefully also gonna be hanging out with Jakoty soon =]

think that’s about it just now.

Hey there you lot!

Happy new year!! Did you have a good one?!

I had fun mostly, went into a town, had fair rides in the squarey centrey bit, and a big street party and fireworks, was freezing cold but I had my cosy leather trousers on – oooft they’re WARM! and a gorgeous big jacket that my mum bought me for Christmas!! =]

Did the usual new year countdown, with blackjesus and some of his family and a few friends, it was lovely, 3rd New Year that he was the first person I kissed ^^, made me happy lol! Then we got donut’s from a stall and went back for a house party, was good fun, then people got too drunk and started arguing and it kinda got a bit fucked up. Ah well! Eventually got home, had a massive argument, couldn’t get to sleep. Blackjesus made me giggle soooo much when we were arguing, it was hard to stay mad at him lol!

Got woken up by “honeeeeeyyy, i need painkillers and milk” and all was forgiven and forgotten as always. He started singing some song about a horse. We were all late for New Years dinner! But it was absolutely gorgeous, I loved it! I love having big proper family dinners around the table, with crackers and everything, even though some people put cranberry jelly on their turkey – weeeeirdos!! It’s not reall something I ever remember doing as a kid.

Got home and watched the last ever good episode of Dr Who, it was amazing. BJ was laughing at me cos I was crying, lol, he clearly doesn’t understand the love I have for David!!! And Russell T Davies is leaving too, so it’s going to be awful.

Gotta go to work tomorrow which sucks, I can’t get any proper time off til the middle of february so that’s really shit.

Anyways, have an awesome 2010 everyone =]

So….

Saw my mum and sister and stepdad, was awesome!! Really worried about my stepdad – his back seems to be really bad, hope he’s okay =[ Mum looks awesome, but really tired. and my sister is AMAZING! God I miss them all loads. Kinda gutted my brother didn't come up too. But I'll see him next time I go home. And if I get a new flat then I'll make him come visit me =D

Also saw my old manager for a coffee - he's doing ace I think, my Auntie totally thought he was hot, all full of oooooh who's THAT?! lol, made me giggle!He left n then texted saying he'd just walked past Hellfire - and it always makes him think of me lol, bless him!

Did a little bit of shopping whilst I was away, should've kept a bit more money so I could've bought some more things, forgot that Glasgow has better shops than here. Got a few things for BJ.

Met up with an old friend from school, he's a martial arts guy now, and totally into his computers, and soooooooo doesn't look the same. It's odd how people change when they grow up, I still look the same as I did when I was a kid.

Ummm.....then got on the bus to come home. With three tops, a jumper, a jacket and a big wooly jumper and a blanket. I shivered the whole journey. I get cold far too easily. But hey ho, the snow is GORGEOUS! You couldn't tell pavement from road today! It was falling sooo fast and heavy and covering everything, i LOVED it!!

Worked 7am - 9pm today, kinda sucked but it was a good day, got a lot done. Totally cleaned out my office, I love having a tidy office! just everyone else moves things n ruins it, grr! Did payroll. got a nuns phonenumber LOL got a present. was about it.

Totally hoping BJs dads present is gonna arrive tomorrow, gutted it isn't here yet.

Got a couple more things to get for BJ, but wrapped things today n realised I've bought him more than I thought I had =] Which is good!

DYING to open my presents from my mum!!!

Catch y’all later….if i’m not on before then Happy Christmas!!!

Ever had a day when it feels like the sky just opened up n did a massive poop on you?!

Yeah….that’s the kinda day I’ve had….and I’m not into any kinda poop-play so it isn’t a good thing!

Work was okay I guess, got everything done okay, managed to get the managers handover done, and met the guy they’re bringing in in January as our manager, he seems pretty nice. Though he’ll have to work hard to beat my old boss, I loved him. Don’t know if I’m gonna be able to go anywhere for Christmas now though, as I can’t get cover for boxing day – the one day I’d asked to have off – SOOOOO not happy, tossers. But tbh, if i can’t get something sorted then I’ll phone in sick. Am I bollocks spending Christmas day on my own!!

So after work, after one of my friends left to go to Ireland for Christmas (gutted!!! love her!!) I went n got the rest of the Christmass shopping done, spent a fortune again, ooooops! It snowed a lot, which was pretty, but I’m not feeling 100% so can’t enjoy it properly =[ Got home and got my first present – from my Dad – woooop!! Sitting by my bed tempting me to open it!! Also got an email saying some of the things I ordered for BJ are out of stock =[ Kinda sucks.

Watched Gremlins for the first time on Wednesday – OHMYGOD it’s good!!! I want a little mogwai of my own!! He’s sooooo cute!! I love the way he yawns!! And screams about the bright lights!! aawwwwwww!!! So I’ve subtley hinted that I’d like a Gizmo for christmas (and I’m sure you can all guess how good I am at subtle!!!) Also watched HellBoy 2, it’s pretty damned good too!!

I’m going to see my mum n stepdad n sister on sunday, can’t wait!! kinda gutted my brother isn’t coming too though =[ Haven’t seen him for a while.

Ummmm….think that’s about it. Had more scans n tests at the doctors but no results yet.

Off to sleep, work in the am!

Laters!

So…

…collapsed on Saturday n woke up in hospital, fun times fun times! They did a heap of scans n took loads of blood n stuff, was pretty scary. Got out n got home to discover that I had no keys, so had to get the bus into town and then the bus out to the place my flatmate was babysitting at, get the keys, then get a bus into town and a bus back out to my flat, all in like -3′C temperatures.

It was a bloody long day lol!

Went to work on Sunday morning but felt really rubbish n got one of the guys to come in n close for me so I could go home.

Feel like (and look like) I’ve been hit by a truck today, sooo so tired and dizzy and everything I eat makes me want to be sick.

Talked to “DJ Rawr” today, lol, wooot, he seems ace, can’t wait til he’s doing more radio shows =] and fingers crossed for the job!!

Ever been in the room when someone is on the phone and the other person is asking about you?! It’s soooo weird, you can kinda hear half a conversation and that half is a bit awkward. Made me giggle today.

Meant to go back in hospital on wednesday for more tests n for tests results, but I’m skipping it n going to Meesh’s n getting drunk =D Can’t wait!! It’s been ages since I’ve seen her n we’ve got sooo much gossiping to do =D sooo many boy stories and work stories and family stories to catch up on!

I’ve been working loads, Stacey is going home on friday n I’m a bit gutted about that =[ But I'm going to go see my mum n family on Sunday, can't wait for that!! =] Just gotta get everyone’s presents on time =]

Anyhoos, better go n get some juice.

laters

hey =]

So….been working tonnes and tonnes. did 8am – 9pm today, and going in for 7am tomorrow =[ I’m soooo tired all the time cos when I’m not at work I’m doing work things at home, and then trying to wind down. And with christmas and family and health and meh, I never seem to get time to myself.

But, on the bright side, I got some Christmas shopping done. I’m meant to be going to another city tomorrow to do some more shopping with the girls. Watched the Paranormal Activity rip without the cinematic changes, it’s kinda freakier I guess, but I still think the cinema one is better. Everyone totally freaked out =p

“Glee” is starting on tv here soon……it looks like absolute drivel. I’ll be addicted within a fortnight.

LOL! did you know tuppence is another word for kooch?! How odd!

I was in work the other day and one of my older customers decided I had to dance with him lol, was waltzing around the shop ha ha! I love old people

Some woman complained to me today, because her cappucino had milk in it. I mean seriously?! wtf did you think the white stuff was you tool!?

Gonna get part of BJs christmas present tomorrow. Hee hee, I’m quite excited about it.

But gonna go sleep now, totally knackered.

Paranormal was actually pretty good. not anywhere near as scary as everyone made it out to be but good anyway. Was good to get out with the girls for a night too

Been catching up with a few old friends it seems, bumped into the guys from uni after the cinema, god i miss living with them all! staying up all night playing frets on fire and being looked after when i was hungover, Dr Ben used to get me calpol n Alan made me rice pudding (YUM!) and Michael n me used to sit n watch movies for hours n hours not doing anything, god i miss it. it was soooo much fun.

had a song from the phantom of the opera stuck in my head all day….can’t decide how bad that is on a scale of one to ten! ha ha, definately not good though.

BJ is back on Tuesday or Wednesday for those of you that’ve been asking. So i’m guessing he’ll be online shortly after he’s home.

My ex found this blog, not sure how, he hasn’t explained that. So that’s another person I miss you Bug, it’s been far too long since we hung out. Ha ha, I want another beach party! and house parties! and camping parties! And you better be taking Paul out to get wasted this week, since i can’t be there.

And Gav found here too, after a link for the radio i sent cos he was bitchin about spotify or something….though he felt uncomfortable reading this cos it’s too personal? Do you guys think that too? Sorry lol, i just write about whatever comes first! (not meaning chicken or eggs)

I’ve been getting really annoyed with the way people suddenly become saints when they die. Like Jade Goody….she dies of cancer and everyone thinks she’s such a strong amazing woman……this after she was a racist bitch on tv and then told her kids she was dying but wouldn’t let them see her?! I think not. And michael jackson?! PEADOPHILE! also not made any good music for years and years, so where is the loss? other than to his family. just irritating me atm.

anyhoo, off to watch the rest of ultraviolet.

huh….apparently I started writing this yesterday, I don’t really remember doing it but hey ho!

Went out for lunch with one of the girls yesterday, got really drunk lol, went out for a while, and ended up going to one of the guys flats to play drinking games, he passed out so I was stuck there talking to his flatmates girlfriend til my taxi arrived lol! Was an awesome day though, totally took my mind off of things and cheered me up a bit too.

I guess I know what I want now, well, I think I’ve always known but actually deciding it is so much more difficult. Ah boys, eh?! What a pain in the arse you lot are. I’d love to be able to just shut off, to not let anyone in and to not care about people. It’d be so much easier, I wouldn’t get hurt and everything would be so much more simple.

I feel so sick today, I had a really bad headache earlier so took some painkillers n now I just feel like I wanna throw up, I’m all dizzy and bleh.

I met Elaine C Smith today lol, she’s awesome! And got a few more Christmas things sorted.

My Gran phoned me yesterday which made me happy, been aaaaages since we spoke. Still not heard from my cousin though, really worried about him. meh.

hmmm……can’t really think what else has happened. Mustang told me about penguin paintings n I got really really excited, but they’re like $150 and then another $100 to get shipped here. so that kinda sucks.

Meant to be going to see Paranormal Activity tomorrow, not really looking forward to it though, I think it looks a bit shit. But it should be a fun girls night out. Then going out with Meesh on wednesday, can’t wait for that, haven’t seen her for ages!

Watching Premonition at the moment, it’s totally mental, I’ve got no idea what’s going on! I love Sandra Bullock though, she’s pretty ace!

off to try n make sense of this movie!

take care my lovelies! love yooouuu! x